Well… This is in contradiction with what I usually follow i.e. ” I shall not ridicule, what I don’t understand… (to the exception of my girlfriend whom I never understand, or so she claims!)..”
Today I joke about cages.. Those shiny metallic contraptions which protects you like a nut cracker protects the nut! Well yeah this isn’t a fair example but then this is just a joke! A joke about the cars, or specifically its designs! Some of the comments were echoed similarly in the Motoroids thread about ugly cars!
First nomination: THE MOST ugliest car in India.. Notice the “THE” in caps, its almost as big as the car itself. The Nano.
Legend has it that in their desperate efforts in cutting cost Mr. Tata asked his team to design car which will utilize only x amount of material. Since time was an issue and mamta didi did not allow them to settle down he gave them a time line of a week or until Mr. Modi helps out with the backup location post their meeting. Failing which he will turn anything that he first sees into a car… Any reference to Apple computers Inc is purely coincidental.
The team plunged into action… They knew they had time… No public private partnership in India takes place fast which does not have a certain “Reliance” in its name. They started looking on the web for designs. The played around on the web pretty much like we do @ office, but Uncle Modi had different plans… I guess he misunderstood Nano to be a homebrewn gujju product. He cleared the plans in a jiffy!
Mr. Tata came back to his busy team, which was reading Japanese design references… Well not quite really… Thus the Pokemon Nano was borned.
It isn’t easy to build a rear wheel self destructive cage under a lakh… So kudos! Now you know why the rear wheel drive… They drew the pokemon and forgot it needed an engine. Kirloskar motors to the rescue… An engine was plonked… Just like the kinetic honda moped!
Next car is a surprise…. Just like the acidity that triggered its inspiration…
Maruti had already killed the Zen with its design, they wanted to make Indians hate the Zen connection more… So they starved the designer who was supposed to design the new maruti Suzuki cage… The designer was in pains due to acidity, but luckily one of his friends slipped in some stuff which not only suppressed the pain but also gave inspiration to one of the whackiest cars.. The inspiration was the pink gellusil… And the car.. The pink zen Estilo!
Having destroyed this car… MUL swiftly focused on the Swift.. It clicked, it was successful as well.. MUL had tasted blood with the car… it wanted to make a sedan and in the board meeting, where they discussed the strategy, the Finance head went Ta-Da! (picture this in your head before you proceed reading) ….And that was the birth of the Dzire in a cost cutting environment…
This wasn’t the first time in the history of MUL that a design suffered due to costs! In another incident where they wanted to make a MUV, they hired the best designers… It was supposed to be grand MUV. The team spent a lot of time and money.. Perfecting ever line, every curve, every contour of the car. The finance head thought a MUV would be a disaster for the vision of the company.. And he exercised his super powers… The clay modeling was shelved and a smaller engine was chosen. The car wasn’t complete and the drawing expert Finance head tried his luck with clay and chopped the rear of the car… Thus was borned the sumo with the flat but weirdly carved arse… The Ritz! It now looks like a golf buggy that slept with a horny sumo wrestler!
Cars have so much history which very few people knew about!
This hasn’t been just with Indian companies… Did you forget the mighty Toyota jumbo sized matchbox on wheels.. The thing whose design an Indian firm purchased, and no it wasn’t ship matches company.. It was a lil known product called rhino.. Based on the quallis! Talking about ships I hope you remember the boat on wheels… Aka the Xylo! Like Dr. Arnob said, it has a super secret theft proof version…. A pista green version which instantly causes the thief to puke! There goes my India bikers nomination entry..!
Before I forget, did I joke about the only two seater car designed in India.. Yeah a fantastic two seater… That was force fitted two extra seats and the designer had to plonk his restrooms ventilator as the rear window… The Maruti Suzuki A star!
Have you closely observed a hyundai sedan? Ever wondered why your dad always mistook it for a older generation Honda or a merc? Beats me every time!
Signing off for now… Time to enter a cage now! Well not really 😉
Ps: everything I wrote about is a figment of my imagination, any resemblance to facts are purely comical!
DiSPLaCeD CoSMoNauT 
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